Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » March 2005 » The Air Force improves its efficiency....

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03/18/2005: The Air Force improves its efficiency....

by outsourcing physical fitness. Via BBSpot.com:

The Air Force's "Fit to Fight" physical fitness program may soon be called "Contractors Fit to Fight" under a new outsourcing program.

The idea was the brainstorm of a pregnant Lt. Colonel assigned to the Air War College in Montgomery, Alabama. Her term paper, "Every Aviator on the running track is one less Aviator on the flight line," reached the desk of the Air War College Commandant, Major General Robert J. Younger, Sr. He got approval from the Pentagon to experiment with the idea.

In the test program, a civilian contract employee was assigned to take an officer's physical fitness test. The civilian was measured for waist size, and then performed a series of push-ups and sit-ups. Then it was off to the track for a 1.5-mile run.

"The test program was an unqualified success," General Younger beamed. "Fitness scores jumped dramatically for our pregnant officers and 'heavy' cargo pilots," he said. The general added that outsourcing also helped officers who enjoy running but who have large waists or limited upper body strength.

The Air Force has outsourced much of its logistics and support functions since the early 1990s. "In hindsight, the benefits of a contracted physical fitness program seem rather obvious," the general said. Students at the Air War College can focus on their military education while civilian workers deal with tedious exercise rituals.
Um.... For those of you who aren't familiar with BBSpot.com, just pretend you read this in The Onion. Ok?

Len on 03.18.05 @ 11:08 AM CST

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