08/06/2005: Making golf more interesting.
I have a running argument with my friends who are golfers.
I think golf (whether as a participant or a spectator) is just plain BORING!!!!!! Incredibly dull. Hypnotic, and not in a good sense. Or, to use a favorite line from George Carlin's masterful riffs on the subject, "It's like watching flies fuck. I get more excited picking out socks."
However, there are ways that one could certainly make golf a much more interesting pastime (at least for the spectators). Like injecting some element of danger into it. Randomly placed landmines on the course (concentrated on the greens, perhaps). Quicksand traps. And of course, fierce, man-eating large mammals (or reptiles) scattered around the course:
When I shared this with one of my golfer friends, she expressed doubts about the ability of a human being to outrun a charging bear. But she's not heard the established wisdom, so I took the opportunity to remind her of it.
Really, if you find yourself in this situation, you don't have to outrun the bear. You just have to outrun the slowest member of your foursome.
[NOTE: For the story behind this picture (which isn't a fake, though the actual story's not quite as interesting as the picture itself), hie thyself to The Urban Legends Reference Pages.]
Len on 08.06.05 @ 09:59 AM CST