06/28/2005: Gem o'the Day:
In short, there are still plenty of places in this country where, in bar after bar on a Saturday night, somebody will eventually stand up and say, "If a faggot came in here I'd kick his ass!" And this is what makes many gays so cagey. Most of them are too smart to hear that and respond, "Here I am, you savage!"
And I'm not just talking about rednecks here. Even Rick Santorum from Pennsylvania, a well-educated man and one of the highest-ranking Republicans in the Senate, doesn't have a clue. Instead of just shutting his mouth because he doesn't know anything, he actually said that homosexuality was a threat to the American family. Of course, he didn't explain why, he just said it as if it were written in stone.
Did I miss something? I read a lot, but never once have I heard about groups of gays hopping in vans and driving from suburb to suburb, threatening American families. If only somebody could convince Santorum this isn't the case. But in his demented mind, he apparently convinced himself that these same gays are driving into culs-de-sac from coast to coast, jumping out of the vans, running into houses just as families are settling in for their evening prayers, and fucking each other...in front of the kids.
Of course, if it were happening that way, I could understand how families could fall apart and within six months show up on The Jerry Springer Show. Who could blame them? But, like I said, I read a lot, and when I'm not reading, I watch The Jerry Springer Show. A lot. So far, I'm happy to report, there is no concrete evidence to support Santorum's claim. Nothing...
And I think it takes a lot of balls for heterosexuals to make such a fuss over this issue, considering that 50 percent of us can't even stay married. It's not like we have a lock on this institution. For all we know, if gay marriages were figured into the equation, the divorce statistics may even go down. That's actually one of my secret dreams because it would be a hell of a kick in the ass to the religious right.
--Lewis Black, in Nothing's Sacred
Len on 06.28.05 @ 11:41 AM CST