Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » April 2005 » Moonies

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04/14/2005: Moonies

This one was posted by Ed over at "Dispatches from the Culture Wars" and has a long, very long follow-up that's worth a read: The Lunatic Rev. Moon.

"On July 4, 2002, the Unification Church (a.k.a. the Moonies) took out a full page ad in newspapers all around the world that just has to be seen to be believed. I'm going to reprint parts of that ad here, skipping all of the statements by all of the "underlings" of the great religions, along with my own comments interspersed in italics. And at the end, I'll tell you why this is important.

"A Cloud of Witnesses: The Saintsí Testimonies to the True Parents"
Preface: What follows is a complex document. It was produced at a seminar in spirit world for leaders of the five great religions. (A seminar in the spirit world? I'm just picturing Jesus and Buddha and Confucius milling around in the hallway outside a conference room at the Valhalla Holiday Inn, eating stale danishes and waiting for Rev. Moon to take the makeshift stage and sell motivational videos)

It includes testimonies to the True Parents, Reverend and Mrs. Sun Myung Moon, a letter from God, messages from four communist leaders, and a resolution written and adopted by the representatives of the five great religions. (Holy shit! Even Michael Eisner couldn't put together a party list like that. But where is Paris Hilton? She would never miss a party with that many A-listers. And I can't believe Shirley MacLaine would miss this event!)

To take this all in, we advise you to relax and open your mind for a while.(Of course. It goes without saying that if you don't buy this load of bullshit, it can only be because you just don't have an open mind)

Click on the link above to read futher...it is Tooooo Funny!

Karen on 04.14.05 @ 06:08 AM CST

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