02/07/2006: The Onion should have gotten a patent first....
In his annual review of Sunday's Super Bowl advertising orgy, Seth Stevenson at Slate notes that Gillette's rollout of the advertising for their five-bladed "Fusion" razor was foreshadowed in a piece that came out two years ago in The Onion: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
Would someone tell me how this happened? We were the fucking vanguard of shaving in this country. The Gillette Mach3 was the razor to own. Then the other guy came out with a three-blade razor. Were we scared? Hell, no. Because we hit back with a little thing called the Mach3Turbo. That's three blades and an aloe strip. For moisture. But you know what happened next? Shut up, I'm telling you what happened—the bastards went to four blades. Now we're standing around with our cocks in our hands, selling three blades and a strip. Moisture or no, suddenly we're the chumps. Well, fuck it. We're going to five blades.Must be hard to be a business innovator when a satirical news source publicizes your best ideas two years ahead of you. :-)
Len on 02.07.06 @ 07:13 AM CST