10/21/2005: In honor of this weekend's release of Doom, the movie....
Slate gaming columnist Will Carlough--whose main claim to fame is that in his 28 years, he's seen every video-game movie adaptation ever made--gives us his definitive ranking of every video-game movie ever made:
- Doom—The winner by default.
- Resident Evil—Any movie where a zombie dog gets kicked in the face can't be bad.
- Mortal Kombat
- Resident Evil: Apocalypse—The best sequel to a video-game movie ever.
- Super Mario Bros.—Getting Dennis Hopper to play King Koopa was quite a coup.
- Street Fighter—You probably don't believe me that the plot's about finding costumes, but it's true.
- Pokémon Heroes—Beats the other Pokémons because it's only 71 minutes long.
- Pokémon 4Ever
- Double Dragon—I vaguely remember a fistfight with a postal worker in this one.
- Pokémon: The First Movie
- Pokémon: The Movie 2000
- Pokémon 3: The Movie
- Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
- Wing Commander
- Final Fantasy—The movie that put a studio out of business.
- Alone in the Dark—Best Uwe Boll picture to date.
- Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
- Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever—They fight each either for five minutes then team up.
- Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
- House of the Dead—Remember, there's no house.
Doom isn't a great movie, but the plot, which has something to do with mutants on Mars, almost makes sense and sticks reasonably close to the source material. Besides, there are only two or three really stupid scenes. That qualifies it as the best video-game movie ever made, at least until Peter Jackson helps make a movie based on Halo.
Len on 10.21.05 @ 05:29 AM CST