Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » October 2005 » In honor of this weekend's release of Doom, the movie....

[« Great days in music history....] [What a letdown.... »]

10/21/2005: In honor of this weekend's release of Doom, the movie....

Slate gaming columnist Will Carlough--whose main claim to fame is that in his 28 years, he's seen every video-game movie adaptation ever made--gives us his definitive ranking of every video-game movie ever made:

  1. Doom—The winner by default.
  2. Resident Evil—Any movie where a zombie dog gets kicked in the face can't be bad.
  3. Mortal Kombat
  4. Resident Evil: Apocalypse—The best sequel to a video-game movie ever.
  5. Super Mario Bros.—Getting Dennis Hopper to play King Koopa was quite a coup.
  6. Street Fighter—You probably don't believe me that the plot's about finding costumes, but it's true.
  7. Pokémon Heroes—Beats the other Pokémons because it's only 71 minutes long.
  8. Pokémon 4Ever
  9. Double Dragon—I vaguely remember a fistfight with a postal worker in this one.
  10. Pokémon: The First Movie
  11. Pokémon: The Movie 2000
  12. Pokémon 3: The Movie
  13. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
  14. Wing Commander
  15. Final Fantasy—The movie that put a studio out of business.
  16. Alone in the Dark—Best Uwe Boll picture to date.
  17. Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
  18. Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever—They fight each either for five minutes then team up.
  19. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
  20. House of the Dead—Remember, there's no house.
And in case you're wondering about Will's opinion of Doom, well here it is:
Doom isn't a great movie, but the plot, which has something to do with mutants on Mars, almost makes sense and sticks reasonably close to the source material. Besides, there are only two or three really stupid scenes. That qualifies it as the best video-game movie ever made, at least until Peter Jackson helps make a movie based on Halo.

Len on 10.21.05 @ 05:29 AM CST

[ | ]

October 2005

Archives of Blogger site
Archives: May '04-Feb '05
Archives: Feb-March '05

Powered by gm-rss

Len's sidebar:
About Len (The uncondensed version)
Memorial to a dear friend
Frederick W. Benteen
The Web of Leonards
The St. Louis Cardinals
The Memphis Redbirds
The St. Louis Browns
The Birdwatch
Hey! Spring of Trivia Blog
BlogMemphis (The Commercial Appeal's listing of Memphis blogs)
The Guide to Life, the Universe, and Everything
George Dubya Bush Blows
asshat.org (be sure to refresh your window for more "wit and wisdom" from Our Beloved Leader)
Taking the Fight to Karl
Main and Central (blog by, for and about veterans and their issues)
Kraftwerk: Chicago, 6/4/2005
My Chicago: Part One
My Chicago, Part Two
Millennium Park
Miscellaneous Chicago
Busch Stadium Tour and BoSox/Cards Game: 6/6/2005
St. Louis Cardinals Hall of Fame Museum
Len's All-Busch Stadium Team (and the voting results)
BP's Postseason Odds (Monte Carlo Simulations)

Len's extended blogroll:

Brock's Sidebar:
About Brock
The Agitator
Armchair Capitalists
Boing Boing
Brad DeLong
Crooked Timber
The Decembrist
Dispatches from the Culture Wars
Flypaper Theory
Heretical Ideas
John and Belle Have a Blog
Jon Rowe
Lawyers, Guns, and Money
Literal Minded
Marginal Revolution
Matthew Yglesias
Oliver Willis
Orin Kerr
Political Animal
Signifying Nothing
Unqualified Offerings

Moonbat Icon

Karen's Sidebar
About Karen
The Ig-Nobel Prizes
The Annals of Improbable Research
The Darwin Awards
EBaums World
Real Clear Politics
U.S. News Wire
Foreign Affairs
The Capitol Steps
Legal Affairs
Nobel Laureates for Change
Program On International Policy
Law of War
Sunday Times
Media Matters
Is That Legal?
Andrew Sullivan
Literal Minded
Jon Rowe
Freespace Blog
Thought Not
Publius Pundit
Blog Maverick
Rosenberg Blog
Crooked Timber

The Rocky Top Brigade:

A New Memphis Mafia

The Old Memphis Mafia

The liberal alternative to Drudge.

Get Firefox!

Take the MIT Weblog Survey

Len supports:
Operation Yellow Elephant:

"Because ranting is safer than enlisting"
Operation Yellow Elephant Blog

The Rebel Alliance of Yankee Haters
Blue Squadron (NL)
Babalu (Marlins)
Leaning Toward the Dark Side (Mets)
Ramblings' Journal (Cubs)
Mediocre Fred (Brewers)
Len Cleavelin (Cardinals)
Red Squadron (AL)
Obscurorama (Red Sox)
Frinklin Speaks (Mariners)
Steve Silver (Twins)
Steve the Llama Butcher (Red Sox)
Rob the Llama Butcher (Rangers)
MoatesArt (Red Sox)
Rammer (Tigers)
JawsBlog (Indians)
Ubi Libertas (Blue Jays)
Oldsmoblogger (Indians)
Mass Backwards (Red Sox)
Industrial Blog
Cry Freedom

Blogrings/Blog indexes/Blog search:
« ? Verbosity # »

Listed on Blogwise
Blogarama - The Blog Directory
Popdex Citations
Blog Search Engine

Greymatter Forums Weblog Commenting and Trackback by HaloScan.com
template by linear