Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » January 2005 » I can relate to Cosmic typos

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01/27/2005: I can relate to Cosmic typos

"Stop me" if you've heard already this one about Cardinal Bernadine already:

In Chicago there was the passing of Cardinal Bernadine some years ago.
He was much beloved and widely regarded as he was of the Order of the Jesuits, a very scholarly and learned Catholic order.

When the Cardinal reached Heaven, St. Peter came out to greet him. "Cardinal, we've been expecting you. Welcome to Heaven. Since you've led an exemplary life on Earth, we're so pleased to have you join us here…where would like to go first?"
The Cardinal, ever the scholar, replied, "Well, I've always wanted to see God's library. I'd like to go there first."

St. Peter was floored…in all the years of attending the Pearly Gates, no one had ever asked to see God's Library…the Archangels…yes…or God's ante-chamber…but never God's Library. He was so impressed he offered to take the Cardinal there himself.

When they reached the library, St. Peter politely showed the Cardinal around, but then excused himself to get back to the Pearly Gates.

Several days past by when St. Peter remembered he hadn't seen nor heard from the Cardinal. He thought to himself, "He can't still be in the library…it's been days, but I'd best go have a look."

When he got to the library, sure enough, the Cardinal was still there…but he was moaning and banging his head on the table.

Thump, thump, thump.

And he'd raise his fists in the air and moan loudly, "It's an 'R'…an 'R'…" and then bang his head some more.

St. Peter rushed over and asked, "My dear Cardinal what's the matter? What's wrong?"
"It's an 'R,'" the Cardinal repeated in a soft moan, and added, "an 'R'...Celebrate…not Celibate."

Karen on 01.27.05 @ 05:44 AM CST

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January 2005

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