Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » October 2004 » Gem o'the Day:

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10/26/2004: Gem o'the Day:


I was born and raised a Mormon in the heart of Zion, the Bear River Valley of Northern Utah. I think it was Horace Greeley who called Mormons a "peculiar people." We took his words to heart and created or own cultural identity--an identity based on traditional biblical values like the belief that marriage is between a man and a half-a-dozen women.

Every five years or so, my parents, brothers, and sisters and their families all get together back in Zion to celebrate this culture we share. It's been a real comfort to those of us who've had to make our way in the gentile world of the blue states--places where high paying jobs are more available only because the sinful gentiles refuse to enact God's right to work laws.

Sundays are the best. We spend the mornings attending the twenty-odd church meetings required of every member in good standing. Then, we're off to the old homestead to feast on the traditional meal of our people, red punch, hamburger helper, and green jello with carrots chopped up inside of it. After that, we spend a few hours talking about how Democrats, gentiles, and Tammy Wynette are all going to Hell and how we think the Lamanites (gentiles call them Indians) in the local church look much whiter and "delightsome" this year, just as Our Prophet, Spencer W. Kimball, prophesied they would. We end the day by watching an old 8mm film of an installation of a very tricky milking system my father put together in Paris, Idaho (not the French one) back in the early Seventies. It's a mighty engineering feat, much like the building of the ancient pyramids only on a smaller scale.
--General J.C. Christian, Patriot


Len on 10.26.04 @ 12:17 PM CST



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