Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » October 2004 » Thought for the Day:

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10/17/2004: Thought for the Day:

Haven't you wished you could make love to the person you lost your virginity to, just to show them how good you've gotten at it since?
--Dave Attell

Actually (and this is going to be more about me than you ever really wanted to know--you have been warned), the girl I lost my virginity to got much more enjoyment out of receiving oral sex than straight intercourse (and in my experience since her, that's not all that unusual); at the time, however, because I was still a virgin the idea of going down on a woman was a bit more than my stunted, not-quite-recovered-Catholic mind could wrap itself around, so I resisted it when she suggested it, and even when I did it I wasn't at all good (she was disappointed enough in my lack-of-performance to let me know that). Well, I've gotten over my inhibitions since then, so rather than fantasize about getting to make love to her again (which wasn't a bad experience, even though she long ago dropped from the top slots in the list of best lovers I've ever had), I've more fantasized about getting the chance to get together with her and go down on her again, precisely to show her how good I've gotten since then (and how much I enjoy it now).

So, Melody, if you ever stumble across this (and I have a strong suspicion you're happily married, so this isn't really a serious offer), drop me an email if you're curious....


Len on 10.17.04 @ 01:17 PM CST

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