Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » September 2004 » I'm surprised it hadn't happened yet....

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09/14/2004: I'm surprised it hadn't happened yet....

Gooseneck informs us that The Dukes of Hazzard is the apparently going to be the latest in the long, long (too long, IMHO) string of '70s TV shows getting the feature film treatment (confirmation here from the IMDB). Apparently, Seann William "Dude, Where's My Car?" Scott is cast as Bo Duke, with the role of Luke Duke going to none other than Johnny "Jackass" Knoxville. But to answer the question burning in the breast of every American male with anything even remotely approaching a normal hormonal balance, it's Jessica "If I only had a brain" Simpson who's gotten the nod as Daisy Duke, beating out the likes of Britney Spears, Mandy Moore and Jessica Biel to get the role.

How bad is this one going to be? Well, Johnny Knoxville is cast as one of the male leads, so that should nail it. But if that's not enough to convince you, go take a look at Jessica Simpson's filmography, and count how many times she's played a role other than "Herself" (go ahead; I'll be here when you get back).

Even counting her role as "Host" of SNL (and I'm really stretching there, I know), you can count them on the fingers of one hand. And you don't even get off the one hand counting the three times she's played "Annette" on That 70's Show as separate roles. And if that's not the final nail in the coffin, note that this will be Jessica's feature film debut.

Looks like a winner, doesn't it?

HOWEVER.... do go take a look at Goose's blog, where he makes some truly inspired suggestions for casting some of the other characters. And check out his "new" version of the General Lee (as a die hard VW Bug lover, I'm all in favor).

Len on 09.14.04 @ 08:37 AM CST

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September 2004

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