07/02/2004: Once again.... The Onion hits the target, brilliantly....
SIMI VALLEY, CA--Slave manpower was doubled this week in an effort to ensure that erection of the gigantic Reagan Pyramid remains on schedule to be completed in time for the 40th president's mummification and ascension into the Afterworld.
Swift completion of the towering structure is "of paramount priority," according to Republican Party insiders.
"Only the most gigantic tomb ever created will be worthy of the Great Communicator," former Reagan Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger said. "As his mortal subjects, it is our holy duty to provide Reagan with a burial commensurate with his stature, in order that he may enter the Realm of Death bedecked with raiments and honors so that he may take his rightful place beside the mighty Sun God, Ra."
Len on 07.02.04 @ 07:41 PM CST